kyrakai (kyrakai) wrote,
  • Mood: calm

What to do if your tongue turns black

If you wake up in the morning, and you happen to stick your tongue out at the mirror and it is pitch black,don't panic. Hyperventilating and running around the house screaming doesn't help either. Trust me, I know.

When I woke up this morning my tongue was black. I must say that you could color me every shade of surprised, including black. It didn't hurt, and everything tasted the way it should, so I wouldn't have noticed at all if I hadn't stuck my tongue out when I looked in the mirror this morning.

I must say that it certainly startled me. Once I got over the shock, I checked the bottom of my tongue and the rest of my mouth as well. Everything else was in the pink. With a vigorous brushing of my teeth and tongue, the black coating came right off, leaving my usual pink oral appendage.

Truthfully, at the time, I couldn't remember eating or drinking anything that could have caused it. I ate a Patty melt and French fries last night, preceded by a delicious bowl of Chicken Tortilla soup, took my pills with a small glass of soy nog and poured myself into bed. All of which were usual behaviors, with no difference in diet or routine.

When I got to work, I pulled up WebMD on the internet and plugged "Black tongue" into the search engine. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the condition would not kill me. It turns out that I had forgotten one little thing about last night.

Around midnight, I got up with a serious case of some rabid gopher tearing it's way through my digestive tract. I knew the patty melt and french fries would come back to bite me, but I didn't think that it would happen until some time the next morning.

As I staggered from the bathroom, through the kitchen, on my way back to bed, I made a pit stop at the medicine chest and fed myself a peptobismol tablet, in an attempt to poison the little bastard so that it would let me get some sleep.

Yep, you guessed it. The Bismuth in the peptobismol reacted with the noxious nighttime chemistry of my mouth and turned my tongue black. If it had ever happened before, I certainly had never noticed, but now that I am aware, I probably won't hyperventilate, or try to remember if I have seen this in an episode of House before some poor soul kicks the bucket.

So, how was your day?
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